was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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