You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
is wine microwaveable?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
