dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
