that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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