Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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