Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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