so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
