Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize