i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
