I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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