i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
