Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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