so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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