i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
