I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize