Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
