how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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