I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
