i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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