cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
