So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
