Too much gin, very little bucket
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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