I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do vagina's smell?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
