Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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