life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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