Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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