cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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