Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
