mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
