We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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