can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
