I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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