Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
