I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my being single is dangerous.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
