thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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