I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
