shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
