Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
