just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
