My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You can't motorboat a personality
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize