yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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