He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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