that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
