I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
