also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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