i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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