Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
