Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
