DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
