I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
