just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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