like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
