Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
