shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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