I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
