I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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