my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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