I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
