Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
