I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
