some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
