god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
